A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a pet store. The salesman says, "I have a great pet for you. A toothless hamster." The guys says "Nah". The salesman says, "But it gives great head." The guy takes it home. His wife screams, "What the hell is that thing?" He says, "Nevermind what it is. Teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."
A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.
He looks between her legs, and he says, "What’s that?"
She says, "It’s me lower mouth."
He says, "What do you mean, ‘your lower mouth?’"
She says, "Just what I said, it’s me lower mouth. It’s got a moustache… It’s got lips…"
He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"
She says, "Not yet. . ."
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "Hey there gorgeous, you wanna play a little game with me I like to call ‘Magic’?" She responds, "Well, I like games…how do we play?" He says, "The way it works is simple. We go back to my place…have sex…and then you disappear."
