Apparently yes…..

They say that sex is like pizza in that no matter how bad it is, it’s still pretty good. But we’re not so sure. So, in case you can’t tell if your lover needs some help in the bedroom, here are the top ten (plus one) ways to tell the sex really is bad…

10. You’re banging your head against the headboard—out of frustration.

9. You’re relieved when you notice signs that your period is coming. God bless those cramps and bloating.

8. He treats your nipples like radio knobs and he’s trying to find a good station.

7. His idea of foreplay is telling you he’s ready.

6. You suggest watching Wife Swap instead.

5. Your “oh’s” sound a lot more like “ow’s.”

4. You hope your parents make a surprise visit a la American Pie … just to end it.

3. He thinks the g-spot is a myth.

2. You can’t even time it because your stop watch doesn’t have a millisecond feature.

1. He watches Verne Troyer’s sex tape for tips.

And the winner:

You find yourself thinking about you and your guy by the end of this list.

Kisses
Mistress Samantha and Miss Syndi
xoxo

Top 10 Signs She’s NOT Interested…

There are literally billions of single women out there at the moment. Go ahead, add them up. Billions. Have you ever wasted time, money and oxygen on one that you never even had a chance with? Of course you didn’t realize it at the time, but yeah, you probably have. And the really annoying thing is that all the clues were right there in front of you, but you didn’t acknowledge them because you were so focused on the pussy.

Well, you never need to make that mistake again, because we’re here to spell out the top 10 signs she’s not interested in you. Sure, it’s a hard thing to accept, but you’ll be much better off if you can spot these signs early on. You’ll also need to consider that these signs may come to you at any stage of the courtship: the day you ask her out, on the first date, or perhaps even a few dates in. When any one of these signs she’s not interested do creep up, it should be your cue to move along and set your sights on one of the other billion girls out there cuz she ain’t interested!

Here they are, the top 10 signs she’s not interested in you:

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