HIM-BO (n): The male version of a bimbo, whore or slut.
Wow, where to start? Who hasn’t done this? Everybody has dont it at least once. The phone rings, it’s him/her, “What are you doing?” “Wanna come over?” Sure…. IT’S THE BOOTY CALL! We could go on all day about booty call etiquette.But there are rules…. This one’s for the ladies.
• A regular booty call partner can be much more satisfying for a woman than a string of one-night stands, because it usually takes a few sessions to teach a new man the various routes to your “happy place”. And if you’re not demanding orgasms from your casual sex,(wtf?) then you’re kinda missing the point, aren’t ya?
• You’ve got to be attracted to your booty call partner (duh!), and it helps if you can have a laugh together, but you don’t need to have anything else in common. So go ahead and call that Him-bo. In fact, the less like “boyfriend material” he is, the better suited he is to be your booty call.
• Don’t limit your booty-calling to just exes. Sure, an ex can make a great booty call candidate, but just because you’re over him enough to want just booty, it doesn’t mean he is (though he may pretend he is just for the chance to be in your presence again). Don’t let him break your heart all over again, you poor little lamb! And you should definitely steer clear of booty-calling an ex who slept with your best friend!!!
• We know you like to plan, but never make a booty call more than a day in advance. An hour or two is considered foreplay, any longer feels too relationshippy.
• Make sure you’re alternating who calls whom so that mutual interest is constantly re-established. If you’ve been the initiator more than three times without reciprocation, knock it off!
• Tipsy is good, stumbling drunk is bad.
• BOTH parties should be armed with protection at all times. Yep, that includes you.
• Faking belongs in dysfunctional relationships and miserable one-night stands only. In the modern booty call, everyone gets at least one real one, whether delivered by oneself or by the second party.
• Don’t call your fuck buddy just to say “hi” (unless you were friends for more than a month before you started swapping favors). You have enough friends, he should NOT be one of them.
• If nothing is discussed, you’ve got to assume that you’re not the only booty call in your fuck buddy’s life. If you want to be in a monogamous booty call situation, then say so! Be aware that this also classifies as a relationship so be careful to not confuse the two.
• Do not think that six months of booty-calling each other determines progression. Duration never implies acceleration, change, or growth–it is simply the same dirty thing happening over and over. A booty call matures into a bona fide relationship about as often as a hooker giving out free blow jobs!
As always our expertise in no way means we have personally done this (right..)
Kisses
Mistress Samantha and Miss Syndi
xoxoxo
