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Thirsty Thursdays - Fuck Off

Written by BigKahuna

Fuck Off

Glass Used: Higball

  • 2 Oz Brandy
  • 2 Oz Cherry Brandy
  • 2 Oz Courvoisier
  • 2 Oz Lemonade

Mixing instructions:

Mix all ingredients in a shaker, shake with ice, serve without ice.

We hope you have enjoyed this weeks features and stories…anytime you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them or contact us!

BigKahuna, Mistress Samantha, Miss Syndi

Fuck Off


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Humpday Hilarity - June 11th 2009

Written by SamanthaAndSyndi

 Jokes From Around the World

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "Hey there gorgeous, you wanna play a little game with me I like to call ‘Magic’?" She responds, "Well, I like games…how do we play?" He says, "The way it works is simple. We go back to my place…have sex…and then you disappear."

 Pictures From Around the Internet

camel toe cup


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7 Signs She’s Not Into You

Written by SamanthaAndSyndi

upset coupleSo there you are, dating the girl of your dreams, you are totally into her, but is she into you?  You’ve been together for a while…you have every reason to think that you’re moving forward in your relationship. But every once in a while, you experience a nagging little doubt in the back of your mind about her level of commitment to you. Sound like your relationship?

The best way to tell if she’s into you (or if she’s not into you) is to pay attention to her actions. Below is a list of seven things we feel that she might do to make you worry and set off your internal "boyfriend alarm".

1- She’s Secretive

What she does: She won’t listen to her messages or check her e-mail when you’re around.

Is it a sign? Yes

What her actions mean: If this has happened once or twice, don’t freak out. She could be helping out a girlfriend with a private crisis or even planning a surprise for you. But if she never checks her e-mail or voicemail when you’re around, this is a very good reason to set off your alarm. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s seeing other men, but she certainly is trying to keep you from being involved in all aspects of her life, and there’s probably a big, juicy reason for it.

2- She’s Always Mentioning Another Guy

What she does: She constantly tells stories or shares details about one specific guy.

Is it a sign? Maybe

What her actions mean: Frequently mentioning one specific guy is not necessarily a reason to set off your alarm; it all depends on the context. For example, is this a friend of hers from before you started dating? Maybe it’s a work friend and they had a big project to tackle? Don’t immediately let your possessive "I’m gonna follow you everywhere" out, but do keep an eye on the situation.

3- She’s Not Into PDA (Public Displays of Affection)

What she does: She won’t let you kiss her in public.

Is it a sign? No

What her actions mean: There are many women who have problems with PDA, (not us), so this is no reason to be worried as long as she does other things in public to acknowledge that you are her boyfriend (i.e. she introduces you as her boyfriend or allows you to hold the door open for her). The only reason this should be worrying is if she has allowed you to kiss her in public in the past and suddenly switched her behavior.

4- She Picks Fights

What she does: She starts arguments with you for the dumbest reasons.

Is it a sign? Maybe

What her actions mean: It depends on what type of arguments she’s starting. If she is starting debates with you about Barack Obama and the Taliban, we wouldn’t be too worried about your relationship. If, however, leaving the toilet seat up has led you into World War III, we might be concerned that she is starting up with you because she is unhappy about the way your relationship is going.

5- She Keeps Her Place Private

What she does: She won’t leave you alone in her apartment.

Is it a sign? No

What her actions mean: It is possible that she has things in her apartment that she is not ready for you to see. Maybe it’s that new dating book she just bought, or her journal that she writes in every night. On the other hand, some women are more private than others. She might have a strong sense of personal space and needs more time before allowing you alone in her apartment. On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for a year or two and she still won’t let you stay there alone, we’d say she’s definately hiding something.

6- She Hangs With The Guys

What she does: She has a lot of guy friends and they hang out on a regular basis.

Is it a sign? Not neccessarily

What her actions mean: Some women simply have a lot of guy friends. There is no reason for alarm unless you have a substantial reason to suspect that one guy in particular is more than just a friend.

7- She’s A Flirt

What she does: She keeps looking at and flirting with other men in front of you.

Is it a sign? Yes

What her actions mean: Consistently flirting with other men in front of you is just rude. It shows that she has little respect for you and your relationship. You should definitely take this as a sign that something is up.

Go With Your Gut!

In closing we will tell you to not ignore those nagging little doubts any longer. If you see that your girlfriend exhibits any of the above warning signs, you do have reason to be concerned. Talk to her about the situation and get things out in the open. If, in fact, she’s just not into you, then you’re better off knowing sooner rather than later. You don’t want to be the boyfriend she talks to all her girlfriends about that is so sensitive that she can see your hooha!!

Kisses
Mistress Samantha and Miss Syndi
XOXOX


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Considering a Menage A Trois? Avoid These Common Pitfalls

Written by SamanthaAndSyndi

Menage A Trois PosterYou’ve finally convinced your girlfriend to have a threesome and you’ve found a girl to join you. What could go wrong? Well, plenty if you haven’t planned ahead for every potential uncomfortable outcome. When a committed couple welcomes another person into their bed, the results can be intensely erotic and adventurous (as we’ve experienced)… or tragically awkward and complicated. Where you end up afterward depends heavily on certain possibilities that should be considered before going ahead with the deed. What follows is a list we came up with of the possible consequences of your threesome, rated according to how much grief they could end up causing you, lol!

A rating of three basically gives you a green light, barring any exceptional circumstances. Two means you should think twice before proceeding, since it is quite likely to cause trouble. A one indicates that this outcome is rather likely, and should probably prompt you to keep your threesome fantasy to yourself and your kleenex. 

Falling for the third

It can be easy to develop feelings for someone you have been physically intimate with, since falling in love and having sex often go together. You may think that women are more prone to this kind of thing and that your DNA will make it easier for you to separate sex and love, but no no, your reactions once you’re actually in the situation may surprise you! Make sure you want to have a threesome for the right reasons (an AWESOME fucking time) and that you are committed to being in your relationship. This will make it easier for you to see the third party as a fun, fabulous sex object — and not a girl with potential for more.

Trouble rating: 3

A girl thing

If you’ve chosen the ideal woman to join you for your threesome, there’s a chance she might be so perfect that your girl will want to continue a relationship with her after the fact. (now thats what I’m talking about!) If it’s just a friendship she wants, no worries, but if she’s feeling romantic about the other girl, you’ve got a problem. However, the chances of this possible consequence are pretty slim unless she has demonstrated lesbian leanings in the past.

Trouble rating: 3

Fatal attraction

It is also possible that your third may develop feelings for you and/or your girlfriend and get all Glenn Close on you, boiling bunnies and whatnot. Make it clear from the get-go that you are only looking for a fun physical encounter and you should be able to avoid this. We don’t need you committing murder to make the crazy bitch go away.  A little time spent observing the girl’s behavior before the act should give you an idea of whether or not she’s a clingy psycho.

Trouble rating: 3

Jealousy rears its ugly head

Unless your girl is very sexually adventurous and secure, there is a good chance that the threesome will spark a bout of jealousy, ranging from slight annoyance to relationship-destroying rage. Make sure to pay equal attention to both women, better yet, more to your girlfriend, but definitely not the other way around. If you know your girl tends to feel sparks of jealousy when you check out other girls on the street, this may be a prohibitive factor. (Our opinion if the bitch gets mad you look at other women, she is definately one to let go of IMMEDIATELY!)

Trouble rating: 2

Three People on a Beach

Infections and babies

The extraordinary complications that would be brought into your life if either of you were to get the HIV– or if the other woman were to get knocked up– ir is enough of a reason to think twice about going through with it. Both risks can be considerably lessened by wrapping your shit up and discussing birth control ahead of time, but if you don’t know a lot about the other woman’s history, ie: prostitute, there could be a risk.

Trouble rating: 2

Awkward socializing

Unless you’re picking up a complete stranger that you’ll never see again (which isn’t necessarily the safest way to go about it), there is a chance that your threesome may end up having some uncomfortable "social consequences".  If the other girl is a friend or an acquaintance of either you or your partner, the next time you hang out could be a tad awkward. If it’s her best friend, this should be reason enough to scrap your plans immediately!

Trouble rating: 1

Performance anxiety

If you are prone to having difficulty performing under pressure, a threesome is not an ideal situation. Having two women to satisfy may simply be too demanding and you’ll probably want to avoid the arrangement if you’re worried about not "rising" to the occasion.

Trouble rating: 1

Now in our opinions these are what we felt were the most important points to make.  We do speak from experience.  Not all ladies are as, um, forward as we are.  Most don’t want anything to do with a threesome, but for those that do this article can be enjoyed by either men or women. It goes both ways!

Kisses
Mistress Samantha and Miss Syndi
XOXO

 

 


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Buying Women Drinks

Written by SamanthaAndSyndi

Women at a barMost of us could use a little social lubricant every once in a while. It certainly is a lot easier to let your guard down and get up the courage to talk to the object of your affection after a few drinks. So you might assume that buying a woman drinks all night is the best way to get her to open up so you can make some progress (whether that progress is to the bedroom or toward a relationship). Well, be advised: This plan can backfire on you with disastrous results if you don’t follow the proper guidelines when it comes to buying women drinks. Hear us out!  WE KNOW!!

Ask Her What She’s Drinking

Instead of coming right out and asking, “Can I buy you a drink?” try taking a more assertive approach by asking what she’s drinking. She will appreciate that you bothered to ask before buying her a drink and you’ll avoid wasting money on a cocktail she doesn’t like. Also, by not referring to buying the drink, you may be able to avoid her responding with, “I can buy my own drinks, thank you.”

Don’t Get Her Drunk

Drinking certainly doesn’t bring out the best in everyone. While a drink or two might help you become the most suave and confident version of yourself, the same amount of alcohol might turn her irritable and depressed. After you buy her a few drinks, the girl you originally hit on may become a totally different and — let’s face it — a way lamer person. You may find yourself stuck on the business end of an endless tirade against her ex-boyfriend. Or you may simply find her drunken ramblings boring. If you keep buying a woman drinks after the point where she seems like she’s been "overserved," she could get sick. That’s about as far from sexy as you can get, and you don’t want to end up holding her hair over the toilet or hauling her into a cab at the end of the night. Sure, it’s intimate — but not in the way you were hoping for. The point is not to get her drunk, but to break the ice and make it easier to get to know each other. You might think that getting her wasted will make you more attractive to her, but beer goggles don’t work the same way for women as they do for men. In fact, a British study we found showed that the effect wears off much more quickly for women.

drunk woman at bar

Run A Tab

If you keep a tab instead of paying for each drink as it comes, you can avoid actually flashing the money in front of her, which some women may find arrogant. Instead, settle up your bill at the end of the night to keep her mind on you and not on your wallet.

Pace Yourself

Challenging your buddy to see which one of you can drink the other under the table is one thing, but getting competitive with a woman you’re trying to pick up is quite another. First of all, the more sober you are, the better chance you have of getting her number, making a good impression and seeing her again. Second, she will probably sip her drink at about the same pace that you drink yours (whether or not she realizes it — it’s something we tend to do unconsciously), so avoid knocking back your drinks too quickly. Chances are you can hold your liquor a little better than she can (there are exceptions, of course, but we’re speaking generally here), and if she’s keeping up with you, you’re probably not going to end up with the situation you were aiming for. Keep it to about two drinks and you should be okay.

Hold It With The Shots

Ordering shots for your guys can seem like a spontaneous way to up the excitement, but it basically signifies a shift of gears from a relaxed evening of flirtation to a crazy night out where anything can happen. Sounds fun, but you should know by now that things can go very, very badly when you decide to go on a mini binge with a stranger. Save the insanity for a night with the guys or with a girl you know a little better. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…..

Don’t Be A Douchey Drinker

Whether your ultimate goal is one hot night of passion or a long-term committed relationship, starting out on the messy drunk foot is never a good idea. Buying her a drink can be a great way to start a conversation with a girl that has caught your eye, but if you go overboard it will get complicated faster than you can order another round of shots. We both hope this helps out all you men we hate to be with that think a way into a girls panties is buying her a drink, you all should know just take us shopping!!! Done and Done!!! Kisses Mistress Samantha and Miss Syndi XOXO


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Humpday Poll - Wednesday March 18th, 2009

Written by BigKahuna


How wasted did you get on St. Paddy’s Day?

Did You Get Wasted On St. Paddy's Day?

View Results


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